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What about him? What about her? Is EVERYONE actually restorable?
Jen Mininger • Jan 22, 2020
We’ve been talking alot about our brokenness here in the thick of my restorable project…
Alot about acknowledging the places inside of us that we don’t feel much hope for.. But what about someone else’s brokenness?
What about that person, or that people group, or maybe the personality type .. or just men or women in general… what about the one that you roll your eyes at and think things like, “well, they are just too far gone”.. Or you say, “they will just never change”.
I wrestle with those thoughts too.
Like a car that we relied on, that began to let us down. It began to disappoint you… it left you on the side of the road one too many times. You lost hope in it ever being reliable... and, so...it came time to let it go, and send it to the junkyard.
Sure, we don’t physically drag anyone to a junkyard, but mentally and emotionally, we kind of do. We take them there in our mind.
At some point we decided that we were tired of that person, we couldn’t bear to feel disappointed by them anymore. We begin to believe that he/she will never change, and we lose hope for that person. And like a car that we can’t rely on anymore, we kind of declared it “a total loss”... or maybe “a lemon”.
And now, in our minds, that person or people group can just sit in the proverbial junkyard. Hopeless... lifeless… broken… irreparable
Who is it?! Who have you lost hope in? Who do you put up walls towards? Who do you roll your eyes at?
Maybe, you don’t even know why, but some types of people just grate against you. You subconsciously write them off before you even give them a chance to get close to you… a pastors, a policemen, someone who dresses differently than you, hairdressers, the seemingly successful,the uneducated, counselors, teenagers, athletes, professors, the homeless, the wealthy, the “pharisees”, the drug addicts, quitters, workaholics, type A personalities, men, women….
Maybe it is someone who has hurt you one too many times.
Maybe someone has let you down and now you are afraid that anyone like them will do the same.
Possibly, your story is similar to Marie’s story https://www.jenminingerphotography.com/mariemonville
Like Marie has experienced, someone that you have trusted has cut you so deeply and personally, and left you with wounds that don’t seem possible for healing. It wasn’t your fault that you ended up with such deep wounds… it was someone else’s choices… and possibly, you are left feeling like you can’t trust anyone EVER AGAIN.
It is too risky to trust.
It is too risky to trust.
Who is it?
Will you imagine a junk yard with me? Will you picture an old rusted out, broken down car sitting in this junkyard?
Can that visual...that seemingly hopeless piece of junk that you're imagining… can it represent the one who has broken down on you?
Will you picture with me weeds and ivy growing up and around it and sort of trapping it there. It sits in the line up of other broken things… other hopeless ones. After all, it belongs there, right? You can’t trust it to be reliable and do its job well.
Now, will you picture with me a mechanic who took a visit to this junk yard?
The mechanic walks around and gets himself entrenched in this sea of brokenness. He looks out and sees all the wrecks, the no-goods, the disappointments….
He turns a corner and then he sees the one that you are picturing… the one that you can’t seem to have hope for.
He stops. He smiles at it, like some “crazy” love struck one.
He begins to talk to it.
He says, “YOU! You are the one I want! Oh! Just look at you! You are so beautiful… and boy, do I know it, because I made you!
As He walks around that car that I lost hope in, he notices its dents and dings and says, “ it looks like you’ve had some rough patches. I’m guessing someone must’ve been pretty frustrated with you…”
The mechanic noticed some heavy issues with the motor and says, “I can tell that you’ve probably let others down a time or two. It was probably quite a challenge for you to be relied on with such deep issues. It probably felt like a heavy weight to carry.”
The mechanic noticed some heavy issues with the motor and says, “I can tell that you’ve probably let others down a time or two. It was probably quite a challenge for you to be relied on with such deep issues. It probably felt like a heavy weight to carry.”
The mechanic places his hands on the front of the car and leans in to whisper…”It’s ok…it's going to be ok. You really are a great car. But you're gonna need my help, aren’t you?
I want to welcome you into my garage…my home! I’m gonna get you outta here and park you right next to my shiny, cleaned up, purpose filled, reliable car… because THAT is where you belong too. You are such a good car.”
You just wait and see… as YOU REST in my garage, I’m going to gently begin the process of restoring you. I am going to bring you back to life …a new life… a better life! You are not just going to survive… you are going to thrive!”
The mechanic began the process of pulling this old car out to be restored. But somehow…the car becomes reluctant about being fixed. The car trusted the mechanic as he spent time with HIM. But negative thoughts would come to the broken car… thoughts like, “but no one else will ever trust me. No one will look at me like this mechanic does. No one will believe me when I am restored. Will the mechanic be enough for me?”
The mechanic turns back again and asks the broken one… “are you thinking about the other cars? That is understandable, but guess what… those other cars live with me too. They too were pulled from the junkyard, just like you. They are also learning to trust me… just like you are! And as you BOTH learn of MY love…you will not let each other down quite as much…or quite as hard.”
The broken one relaxes again and looks at the mechanic….then hears him say, “so, don’t resist my help…. I know it won’t be easy, but I love you and you can trust me, just follow my lead. I will help you each step of the way”
In my imagination… in my little analogy here… the mechanic would take the time to encourage the broken one. He would love the broken one who has disappointed another. He would say, “with me, you're gonna run better than ever… you're gonna be able to manage the detours, the bumpy roads, and flat tires that come down your path. With me, you will be able to give your passenger rides filled with confidence and hope…but it HAS to be WITH ME. And your passenger HAS to remember that the mechanic is the ONE he actually needs to rely on. He also needs to look to the mechanic to know that HE will keep both of you running.
Remember...what I am talking about today, applies to how you and I can sometimes view humanity.
That broken down car, represents the person or the people group that you struggle to believe that there is hope for.
And the mechanic represents, God… the Creator of all, the ONE and only ONE who love unconditionally. The One who sees our beauty beyond our brokenness. The ONE who can and does restore.
What I am talking about is how God views humanity..
We’ll stick with the car analogy…
Did you notice something that the mechanic first did? He noticed the dents and dings in the junked car. To restore a broken down car, a mechanic would first have to acknowledge what needs repair.
God, our restorer sure does not ignore our broken parts. He is a restorer, a redeemer, and instead of pretending like our brokenness isn’t there, He acknowledges our brokenness and our shortcomings. And you know what, you don’t have to ignore what has hurt you and let you down.
If you are walking through some deep wounds because you have been betrayed, abandoned, abused, let down or disappointed, then please know that you too can acknowledge those hard things. You don’t have to ignore them or minimize them. Actually, it is helpful to acknowledge them, it is part of your restoration and part of the others’ restoration. And remember, being restored is not an easy process. So, acknowledging what is hurting you, might not feel too good. Hang in there… tell God (and some safe people) what has left you with your heavy weight. God cares for your deep wounds... and He cares for the one who has wounded you.
He wants to restore you! We don’t know what the other side... the restored side of this might look like, but I promise you that the Restorer can be trusted.
AND... He can be trusted to help the one who you’ve lost hope in.
AND... He can be trusted to help the one who you’ve lost hope in.
This post was about someone else’s brokenness, and I think that loving and trusting such a broken one could come, but only because of the “Mechanic’s” example, of first loving it, Himself.
You know, even when that broken one spends time being restored by the mechanic, we might still look at this fixed up car and just see the old version…the one that was unreliable and really couldn’t be trusted. We can begin to live with the heavy weight of skepticism and doubt. We think that our walls will protect us. But my fears can’t protect me! And that heavy weight is robbing me of living in my own freedom.
I don’t want to live that way… I need to focus on the ONE WHO RESTORED the broken…HE is where my hope has to come from. I need HIS help to show me where to put my true trust and my true hope. I need HIM to show me how to forgive and love again. I need the freedom that forgiveness offers.
I don’t want to live that way… I need to focus on the ONE WHO RESTORED the broken…HE is where my hope has to come from. I need HIS help to show me where to put my true trust and my true hope. I need HIM to show me how to forgive and love again. I need the freedom that forgiveness offers.
Maybe you also struggle to have hope for someone else’s brokenness and you aren’t feeling bad about it either. In some ways, maybe you even feel a bit entitled to your critical thoughts and protective barriers. But you can probably admit that you aren’t agreeing with God, their Creator.
So, what do you do now? You don’t want this inside of you.
You know the unhealth can grow and ultimately it mostly hurts yourself. This bitterness, this hardness, this hopelessness doesn’t feel good, and it begins to affect more than just this one broken thing. It affects your joy and your freedom! Oh, would you look at that...I have come full circle… Once again, I am the one who needs restoration.
You know the unhealth can grow and ultimately it mostly hurts yourself. This bitterness, this hardness, this hopelessness doesn’t feel good, and it begins to affect more than just this one broken thing. It affects your joy and your freedom! Oh, would you look at that...I have come full circle… Once again, I am the one who needs restoration.
You following me?
.... we realize that it is ALSO about my brokenness.
So, what do we do with that?!!
I think that we first admit where we are at. We are honest with God about our heart’s condition. We can even say, “I don’t feel like it, and I don’t know how to get well, but God, will YOU help me get there.” We can say that we recognize that the way we are viewing this person or this people group is NOT how God views them, and we can ask God to move us towards agreeing with HIM, their creator, their restorer.
I think that we first admit where we are at. We are honest with God about our heart’s condition. We can even say, “I don’t feel like it, and I don’t know how to get well, but God, will YOU help me get there.” We can say that we recognize that the way we are viewing this person or this people group is NOT how God views them, and we can ask God to move us towards agreeing with HIM, their creator, their restorer.
I’ve prayed prayers like this… actually, I’ve prayed prayers like this LOTS of times. It is not easy to enter into this kind of prayer...BUT, I can tell you that refreshment can follow. Like one who is parched in a desert and longing for some refreshment…. So refreshment comes from being honest about our heart with God. Acts 3:19, it says to “ repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord;”.
There is hope for them… and there is hope for you… because there is a “Mechanic”... God is real, and He is all about Restoring our souls!
Psalm 23:3 “He restores my soul”... so if He is restoring me… than I can at least have compassion for someone else who needs His restoration.
Now, I’m gonna pause a second here… I just feel a need to clarify something.
I am NOT here to say that there are not going to be times when you need to distance yourself from a toxic relationship. Maybe God is calling you to consider healthy boundaries. Boundaries can sometimes even help the one who is continuing to let you down. So, there is most definitely a place to consider boundaries and distancing yourself from certain relationships. You are not wrong for considering who you can trust for your safety and wellness… and this is a very real, deep and painful topic. It really is way more than I can dive into here. But, if you resonate with what I just said, then don’t make this decision to have boundaries alone. Seriously...don’t walk that path alone. Seek help…
I suggest a professional counselor. My friend Meagan of www.takeheartcounseling.com, is an excellent source for this kind of help. So, if you need to talk to someone about relational boundaries and hope for healing your brokenness.. Then email Meagan@takeheartcounseling.com and mention “Hope Layer Podcast” in your email, so that you can receive a $25 discount off of your first session.
And, may I encourage you to get to know this “Mechanic”…. This “Restorer”… this ONE who wants to lavishly care for you and the one who you see as too far gone. This ONE who can be deeply and truly trusted… Pour your heart out to Him. Tell Him all of those hard and hurting parts of your heart… and tell Him that you want Him to make Himself more real to you. And as you do … I believe that I can confidently say… that your hope WILL grow!
Friend...if all this restorable talk has been something that seems to be what your heart is needing, then maybe you want to get away for a weekend with me. I will be hosting a Restorable Retreat from February 28th through March 1st, 2020. It will be an intimate weekend with a small group of women at a beautiful bed and breakfast in Lancaster County, PA. Joining me will be my friend Meagan Good who is a professional therapist, and also my friend Terry Boch who is a singer/songwriter. Terry has written some truly heartfelt music from her own brokenness...and her stories of restoration. If you are interested in joining us, then please sign up soon, as I have already begun to send out special emails to nurture and prepare the hearts of each woman attending.
This retreat is intended to be a valuable investment into your hopeful story… My desire is for each of you to leave the retreat with your hearts and hands full of rich treasures to springboard you back into your full life. And, I am so excited to receive and grow towards hope and freedom right along with you. Head to https://www.jenminingerphotography.com/retreats
for more info and to purchase your ticket!
And friend.. I hope that you take care of yourself today. If your heart is heavy from your own brokenness, or from the weight of someone else’s choices, then allow yourself to receive grace for this hard season. You don’t have to walk through this hard thing perfectly. But, you can care for yourself in ways that will help you through it.
Take a walk, take a nap, take a bath, do some deep breathing… eat something that is actually nourishing, and helpful for your mind and body. Find something creative to do for an outlet.
The restoring process is hard and can be long, but you are not alone. If you need someone to encourage you and guide you towards ways of taking care of yourself better.... then head to www.beautifulhealingjourney.com/hopelayer where you can reach out to my dear friend and naturopathic practitioner, Dr. Rhonda. She is such a gift to me. She has is guiding me towards better health and wholeness, and I just know that she can be a gentle and gracious gift to you as well. Plus, if you use the link then you will get $25 off your first session with her.
Taking care of your body, mind and spirit is all so valuable, especially if you are in a season of stress and feeling your brokenness.
Remember the visual of the Mechanic placing his loving hands on the broken one’s hood? He was like one who was crazy love struck. His eyes were filled with sincere compassion as He saw beauty in the broken one and at the same time, He saw their brokenness. I hope that picture sinks into your mind as you feel despair for yourself or maybe for those times when you feel disgust or angst when looking to another broken one.
You can also share it on facebook and instagram and tag me at Jen Mininger Photography so that together we can get this visual of hope to someone who might need it today.
God, looks to us with such a deep love that we can’t even fathom… and at the same time He sees our brokenness, our poor choices and our struggles...and His love remains just as fierce. Do you know that love?
And if this talk has comforted you in anyway, then I would love it if you could help me extend this hope and comfort to others. Do you know that when you subscribe to a podcast on itunes, and then give it a star rating and a review...that you are helping it get into more hearts and hands? I don’t know how all that works...but I’ve been told that it does. So, I would love it if you did that for those searching for true hope.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1488376525
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1488376525
You can also share it on facebook and instagram and tag me at Jen Mininger Photography so that together we can get this visual of hope to someone who might need it today.
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Bobbie went from full hustle to full halt and discovered what God can do in a valley season.
It ached to hear the harsh words that she knew could be her own, yet it felt so safe and reassuring to know that God sees her and wants her to have new lyrics in her own heart.
Acknowledging the dark as well as the light feels so honest and helpful in these moments. Although, I will warn, that it can also feel raw and not always easy, YET it is a kindness to ourselves when we start with honesty, isn't it? It is both, difficult and kind.
Letting go.. or saying "no" can be SO HARD ! We don't want to, we'd rather be awesome, all the time, in all the things! BUT... is that really working for you and your people? What do you need to steward (manage, maximize or multiply) better? Do you need to let go of something so that you may better steward something of more value… for a season?
Tracy leaned into the old car unafraid of the dirt and rust that she was now touching.
As I said in an email to my Belize Trip Prayer Team.. “ I am thankful. Actually, I am dumbfounded, humbled and in awe.”
C O N T A C T
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