It ached to hear the harsh words that she knew could be her own,
yet it felt so safe and reassuring to know that
God sees her and wants her to have new lyrics in her own heart. 

Her anxiety and nervousness began to grow
as her layered photography session grew closer.

She didn't have a plan for her pictures.

She just KNEW that, for whatever reason, she needed to do this.

So she resolved to hold her hands and heart open to what God might have for her.

“I'm fighting voices in my head

Voices in my head telling me that I'm not enough.

I'm not pretty and I'm broken, I'm not worthy of love.

Voices in my head telling me that I should give up...."

The unknown woman sang the words through Michelle's speakers.

It felt like words that she could have written herself.

The song played on….

"Words, they can cut so deep

Why do I care so much what people think?

I wonder who I'd be if I didn't have insecurities..."

Was this moment in her car a moment where tears fell or a smile grew? 

Maybe it was a moment intended for both? 

It ached to hear the words that she knew could be her own, yet it felt so safe and reassuring to know that God sees her and wants her to have new lyrics in her own heart.  Did He have something beautiful for her to discover about herself at this soon happening photo session?


Still anxious, yet overcome with a new feeling of nervousness mixed with anticipation and joy, she played that new song again…

"I'm fighting voices in my head

Voices in my head telling me that I'm not enough

I'm not pretty and I'm broken, I'm not worthy of love

Voices in my head telling me that I should give up

I'm fighting voices in my head...."

Michelle knew that she needed to partner with God and fight the debilitating power of these false beliefs. 

But, its so hard. 

These words are firmly set in.  They are strong-holding beliefs. 

The old familiar inner dialogue began. 

Her very own experiences and memories remind her that these voices are true.  Who is she to disagree with what others say?  Who is she to disagree with what seems so true?  The voices that are regularly whispered in her heart feel so very loud and clear that she has grown ready to affirm and agree with them. 


Why oh why do these voices keep shouting even after praying? 
Even after fighting? 
Why do they tell Michelle to believe things that aren’t true?



God saw her there, on those Lancaster county roads. 
 
He wanted her to move away from the voices that were her debilitating false beliefs.
 
He longed for her to feel the freedom that Truth has to offer her.

She played the song again and listened to lyrics that felt like were her own…

"Stop it, I can't take another minute

I'm going crazy with these voices that are spinning in my head

Tell my head to listen to my heart"

"

Could her heart ever agree if she fought the inner arguments?

What would become of her?

Who would she be?

The false beliefs are so familiar…like an identity… her identity.

Though painful, they can almost feel like home.  A prison that maybe she has grown safe and familiar with. 

Change might be scary…

"I'm fighting voices in my head

Voices in my head telling me that I'm not enough

I'm not pretty and I'm broken, I'm not worthy of love

Voices in my head telling me that I should give up"

What if she told those voices to “shut up”. 

“Go away!” 

“I believe you, but that doesn’t mean your are True!!”

And again…she listened to the song. 

She began to listen (& sing) as if she was choosing to go to battle with her false beliefs. 

She listened again and again as a deliberate choice to agree with  God, rather than give in to the familiar prison of lies.

"I'm done with voices in my head

Voices in my head, I know that I am enough

I am pretty, I'm not broken, I am worthy of love

Voices in my head I know that it's time to give up

With all these voices in my head"

The music grew in intensity as MIchelle felt the fight for freedom grow inside of her.

"I'm fighting voices in my head

Voices in my head telling me that I'm not enough

I'm not pretty and I'm broken, I'm not worthy of love

Voices in my head telling me that I should give up

I'm fighting voices in my head....."

Michelle’s tears fell as her heart felt God’s kindness. 

He gave her this song in this moment, for this moment…and it could be her song for the rest of her life. 

God loves her so much.



The crescendo of the music slowed down. 

The background noise got simpler. 

And the gentle sweet voice of the musician sang through the speakers of her car as if God Himself was singing directly to Michelle in that moment…

"I am strong,
I am beautiful"

God IS strong. 
He is beautiful! 

And, Michelle was made in His likeness and image. 

God declared, when He made her, that His creation of her was “very good”! 

Michelle is strong.  She is beautiful!

Michelle texted me about what she was experiencing with God as she drove around the dreamy farmlands… 

This was not an accident. 

It was no coincidence that God saved this song for this anxious moment.


God wanted her to get these photos taken. He wants to free her from the voices that debilitate her.

Michelle pulled her car, with the NJ plates, right into the farm pasture.
She could have turned around, changed her mind, and said “no” to this thing that she felt God was nudging her to do. 

But, she showed up. 
That was all God was asking her to do.

She showed up surrendered and open handed.

She was timid and nervous, but saying “yes” to this step of faith.

It was now time for her Layered Photography session, so we walked together in the pasture with her new favorite song playing over the phone’s speaker, and I took pictures as the song played over and over again.

"The girl I used to be

She was confident and free,
and happy.

I don't recognize myself

Or this person in the mirror

Staring back at me"

Something that you don’t know about Michelle, is that she is fun and silly, and she loves to dance. 

She loves to allow music to bring out that light-hearted girl inside of her.  The girl that she knows.  The girl that, sometimes, she used to know. 

But, unfortunately with Michelle’s debilitating foot pain, she has restrictions from not only dancing, but also, the simple act of walking on uneven ground is difficult and painful.

Yet, something arose in her to choose to expose her bare feet there in that prickly old pasture.  It was part of the dreamy picture in her mind, of that maybe someday farm girl who would walk through the fields barefoot.  And in this moment, she chose to take her freedom a step further as she not only walked out onto that pasture, but towards the end of our time, she chose to change the tune, get a little silly, and dance as if no one was watching!

Goosebumps covered my body as I saw this precious woman be reminded
of what truth and freedom can feel like.

There in that pasture, she worshiped her Creator, her Voice of Truth. 

Through my own teary eyes, I looked at Michelle and thought, "could anything be more beautiful?"

A month or so later, we sat together in a coffee shop looking at her printed pictures and I asked Michelle several follow-up questions.  And, I specifically remember a question that stood out to me the most because her answer was so beautiful.

I asked.... 

“Michelle, who do you see?”  
She said; “I see someone who looks like a good friend.  I would like to be her friend”. 

I couldn’t agree more.

We discussed a bit of what that would look like, to be her friend.  Then, I asked the question…

“What if you lived a life believing the truth rather than believing the lies?...
 
What would life look like? 
 
What would it feel like? 
 
What might need to change?

Friend, with Michelle’s permission, I am sharing a piece of her story,
because I KNOW that she is not alone in this fight with false beliefs.



So, can you relate? 


What would life look like if you chose to resist the lies
and cling to the Truth that God says about you? 


Is there risk in letting go of false beliefs?


What if you told yourself the Truth…right now. 
And, then tomorrow, when you forget, what if you told yourself the truth, again? 
How about the day after that? 


Could a new and beautiful path be created in your brain that could
give you more freedom for each new day?


I believe there is hope!

I believe that lies are powerful and need to be intentionally battled. 

Lies want to imprison you.

“The Truth will set you free”

I believe we can tell God all of our debilitating thoughts and beliefs.  We can ask Him to help us make the choice to turn from the lies. 

I believe we can ask God to show us something beautiful and true, and then we can ask Him to help us be willing to see and believe the Truth.

I believe that we can turn from lies and move towards thinking on things that are true, lovely, pure, praise worthy, of good report…

I believe that God died not just so that we can have heaven after earth, but also because He wants us to experience life here on earth… an abundant life.

I believe that this journey is not easy, but with God's help it can be lite.

Michelle has given Jen Mininger permission and rights to share this piece of her story, and her pictures to go along with it.

She is fighting the voices in her head,
and she hope you will too.

"I can't take another minute

I'm going crazy with these voices that are spinning in my head

Tell my head to listen to my heart

And my heart says

I'm done with voices in my head

Voices in my head,
I know that I am enough

I am pretty,
I'm not broken,
I am worthy of love.

Voices in my head I know that it's time to give up

With all these voices in my head

I am strong, I am beautiful"


SONG - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMZmWfJXXeQ