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20TH IN OREGON (PART 4)
Jen Mininger • Oct 28, 2019
20th in Oregon, Part 4
Friends, we brought it ALL! The fun, the beautiful, the relaxing…
the heavy, the difficult, the messy…
We brought us, our reality, our honesty, our us.
We didn’t show up to Oregon, pretending like the hard stuff wasn’t part of us… and we didn’t show up believing the hard stuff is ALL of us. We just showed up… honestly.
These photos serve as visual reminder for me that, choosing trust... choosing vulnerability… can create something beautiful. More beautiful than if I were to keep up the protective wall around my heart.
I see beauty, almost dreamy-like beauty…
but… I also see pain, heart ache, disappointment…the struggle..
And when I see all of that… it then allows me to get views of redemption and victory! Its not “arrival” I see though. Remember Part 1? We continue to “dance” in the minefields.
I see me looking into a face of someone that I have given my life to, and someone who I’ve felt hurt by. In this moment, we are looking into each other’s eyes with honesty and we are seeing it ALL.
You know, sometimes I don’t want to see it ALL... I want to just see the best. But if Korey and I didn’t look straight down the soul of the deep nasty AND the sweet beautiful ALL of us… then I’m not sure we’d see grace. Maybe we wouldn’t feel the depths of what redemption is. We wouldn’t learn to accept that we will never be enough. We wouldn’t learn how to truly accept ourselves or each other.
Looking at each other deeply and truly, is NOT an easy road, all the time… but its a road that leads us to a truer (and messier) intimacy. We have NOT figured this stuff out, but we are choosing to continue to learn.
Placing your life, your heart, your weak and vulnerable spaces into someone else’s care, can feel so risky… even crazy at times. Sometimes it DOES feel risky to show kindness, forgiveness, humility, hurts, open brokenness… to lay down our protective walls. And, seriously, at times, it is crazy! I need discernment to determine when it is wise to take the risk, to choose trust and vulnerability, because its not a haphazard, wear my heart on my sleeve, naive puppy sort of vulnerable. Rather, its the kind of vulnerable that looks to the ONE who I can truly trust.
Looking to God… the One who ultimately knows my worth, He declares me valuable and acceptable because of who HE is. He’s a God, who needs nothing in return from me, and looking to Him allows me the freedom to give of myself when HE compels me to give.
So, I gave.
I chose to be raw and joyful in this moment… I chose to be the creative that God made me to be and enjoy. I chose to believe in the acceptance that He has over me..and that is when I am best able to move towards vulnerability. In this moment, that looked like confidently placing myself in Korey’s arms. We looked honestly into each others eyes as he balanced me from falling…
And once again, the camera clicked…
Another pretty picture is created. Another visual to remind me that beauty is possible.
Ironically it feels so freeing to let down your guard. To let go of the thing(s) that protect you… this is just some of the stuff I am learning… and these are some of experiences and pictures that God uses to show me what MORE He might have for me.
Has this encouraged you today? I’d love to know how! Leave a comment here, or on FB or Instagram… or if you prefer… go ahead and email me at jen@layeredphotography.com . And, if your interested in more, then you might want to join my email list - you can sign up below.
Thanks for journeying with me here,
Jen
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Bobbie went from full hustle to full halt and discovered what God can do in a valley season.
It ached to hear the harsh words that she knew could be her own, yet it felt so safe and reassuring to know that God sees her and wants her to have new lyrics in her own heart.
Acknowledging the dark as well as the light feels so honest and helpful in these moments. Although, I will warn, that it can also feel raw and not always easy, YET it is a kindness to ourselves when we start with honesty, isn't it? It is both, difficult and kind.
Letting go.. or saying "no" can be SO HARD ! We don't want to, we'd rather be awesome, all the time, in all the things! BUT... is that really working for you and your people? What do you need to steward (manage, maximize or multiply) better? Do you need to let go of something so that you may better steward something of more value… for a season?
Tracy leaned into the old car unafraid of the dirt and rust that she was now touching.
As I said in an email to my Belize Trip Prayer Team.. “ I am thankful. Actually, I am dumbfounded, humbled and in awe.”
C O N T A C T
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