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YOU'RE WORTH IT! (PART 1)
Jen Mininger • Oct 28, 2019
You're Worth It (Part 1)
Identity, rest, soul care… and God’s unconditional pursuit and love for a girl..actually, for all of us girls (& you too guys)!
That’s what this was… IS all about!
Meagan was 15 when Charley came into her life, and soon after he became her safe place. He was a space where she felt a sense of belonging, and where she felt unconditionally accepted. With Charley, she could laugh and run and rest from all of life’s craziness. With Charley, she could also let her guard down and weep over all of her inner turmoil… somehow, when she was with Charley… she could feel close to God.
Charley became her anchor, her rock… a steady constant of safety and loyalty.
Through this precious gift and her time in the barn. Meagan began to identify herself as the “horse girl," the hard worker at home and in the barn. She was the helper, the responsible one… and it worked for her, (kind of).
This relationship, this place of safety, this identity all led to her dream of a future with her and Charley bringing hope and healing to others’ aching hearts.
Meagan shared with me about how those dream’s roots only grew more strong as she graduated high school and then worked hard for her bachelors, and then her masters.
And how in the midst of all this, she fell in love with and married Grant.
Grant was actually sort of like Charley. He was loyal and loving… but wouldn’t bend or change his personality to please others. He had a strong side as well as a sensitivity. Both Grant and Charley were a gift to Meagan, and Meagan a gift to them.
…and together, the three of them pursued the dream of equine therapy. Not an easy dream, of course… they have had to work tirelessly to build their farm and business while Meagan continued her studies.
That young girl, turned grown woman was still a hard worker, she was selfless, considerate and responsible.
but..somehow, in the midst of pursuing her dream, this “horse girl” didn’t claim time for her own personal rest and peace... not even in her favorite way... being playful with Charley.
How could she get herself so wrapped up in her work and vision… that she couldn’t care for herself at the same time?
Did she forget that she is more valuable than even the dream that God placed in her? Did she forget that she was worth the love and care that she was working so hard to offer others?
Its kind of a juxtaposition… sort of ironic, isn’t it? How is it that, pursuing our dreams can get in the way of caring for ourselves?
Sometimes we need to hear, feel and be reminded of how God looks at us…how He loves us.
Like so many of us, Meagan is on a journey to reclaim that true love and live in the truth of her identity… the part that says that she is valuable… she is worthy of being cared for (too).
It’s funny, how we can “know” something to be true but not live it out?
As Meagan’s session was getting closer, God was whispering her value to her, and as she felt HIS love for her, she began to prepare for her photo session. She chose to spend time and money on herself. Meagan found that “just right” dress and chose to get herself some much needed new boots. Boots, that said to her, “yes, I’m a horse girl... but I’m also a girl... a woman, who is worthy of being cared for and who can take some time to feel feminine”.
The day finally came… photo session day!…and as she was wearing that new dress, sitting in a dreamy barn on a bucket, she should have felt “at home”, comfortable, excited..but instead, she felt, sort of awkward. For in this moment…she wasn’t helping or working, or striving… rather she was being served…nurtured…treated like a valuable girl..a precious woman…one who is worthy of being cared for… and noticed.
And it felt… kind of weird.
She might have thought…”this shouldn’t feel weird... I know my value... God has whispered it to me over and over again”… but there she sat… feeling uncomfortable while “receiving”… “serving” was more her norm.
So, she sat powerless, knowing that this was good…knowing that God cared for her and wanted her to receive… FROM HIM… through my niece, Liv.
Liv thoughtfully enhanced the already beautiful skin that God gave Meagan… then she added feminine touches to Meagan’s long blonde locks…
“Yahweh”… tattooed so beautifully, so permanently on Meagan’s caregiver’s arm. “Yahweh”... a Hebrew word for “God”…
In this moment, Meagan’s giver/nurturer/server was actually a picture of God giving to her. He was using the hands and heart of another to do HIS generous giving!
Sometimes “receiving” can be difficult… even awkward… but how beautiful to get to receive from the ONE whom we could never repay for His infinite gifts… infinite and perfect love.
So, why not rest? Why not receive? After all our identity that says we are worthy and valuable is placed on us because of God…yes, GOD, the creator of the universe! God, the One who was here before we were. He made us…He made the whole universe..and HE believes we are valuable and worthy of care. HE says who we are, and wants to love us in whatever lavish way HE chooses! God wants us to rest knowing that He’s got this (whatever “this” is)!
Friends…I’m stopping right here today… I wasn’t planning on it… in fact, I’m eager to share the rest with you… and I was planning on it… but, I think I’m supposed to allow us to pause for a sec.
You see, this whole thing here is a layered “PHOTOGRAPHY” post… but I didn’t even get into the actual photography session yet! The experience so far has already been so powerful for all of us here at that barn.
And now, as I share this with you… I guess I wonder if you wrestle with these things too? Do you find your identity and value from how much you do for others… or from what you do? Is it hard for you to rest and care for yourself? Are you still valuable if you choose to not do something for someone else?
What if your ability was taken away from you... would that mean that you weren’t valuable any more? What would your “identity” be in then?!
"Just rest dear Meagan… be loved and receive… from ME… you're worth it!"
-God
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Bobbie went from full hustle to full halt and discovered what God can do in a valley season.
It ached to hear the harsh words that she knew could be her own, yet it felt so safe and reassuring to know that God sees her and wants her to have new lyrics in her own heart.
Acknowledging the dark as well as the light feels so honest and helpful in these moments. Although, I will warn, that it can also feel raw and not always easy, YET it is a kindness to ourselves when we start with honesty, isn't it? It is both, difficult and kind.
Letting go.. or saying "no" can be SO HARD ! We don't want to, we'd rather be awesome, all the time, in all the things! BUT... is that really working for you and your people? What do you need to steward (manage, maximize or multiply) better? Do you need to let go of something so that you may better steward something of more value… for a season?
Tracy leaned into the old car unafraid of the dirt and rust that she was now touching.
As I said in an email to my Belize Trip Prayer Team.. “ I am thankful. Actually, I am dumbfounded, humbled and in awe.”
C O N T A C T
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