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YOU'RE WORTH IT! (PART 2)
Jen Mininger • Oct 28, 2019
You're Worth It! (Part 2)
Meagan was now ready, ready to be with her Charley, and so they began to walk into a large and lush pasture with Meagan’s hopes of fun and bonding for her and her old pal.
As I watched the dynamic of their relationship, I remembered some things that Meagan had shared with me earlier. Some things that she hoped to see in her pictures… in her “layered photography”… and, of course, she wanted this old friend of hers to be a significant part of the pictures.
As she talked about this special connection, she would laugh and giggle and shed tears…this friend, confidant, this horse was her steady… her anchor.
She shared with me about the gift of equine therapy and the amazing healing stories that she has witnessed, and she hoped that pieces of those gifts could be captured on this day. She shared about the powerful chemistry of “liberty work” and how she dreamed of that happening today for her and Charley.
But rather than bonding with Meagan, it was clear that Charley would rather whinny at the mare in the barn.
Meagan knew that this would possibly happen. She knows that Charley is loyal to her…but she also knows that Charley has a stubborn side… a do things on his own terms side.
But… in her frustration I would catch her giggling at Charley, and I listened to my slightly aggravated friend (this horse girl) express her feelings of total love and acceptance for her independent Charley.
She wanted something “better” for Charley…something that only she could offer… a meaningful connection…loving touch and care. Meagan felt such unconditional love for that stubborn buddy of hers, and wanted to offer him something meaningful.
Charley wasn’t ready for that gift… so she offered him patience.
A patience that didn’t look like a distant friend waiting with a cold shoulder far away…rather a patience that was offered with a gentle pursuit and loving reminders of what could be great. An offer to enjoy liberty/freedom in a protected, life giving way.
Her patience and happiness towards Charley was so moving for me to watch. It was a visual reminder of a relationship that I’m familiar with.
She smiled at Charley in his stubbornness…. I imagined God smiling at me.
God likes me and He likes to be with me and connect with me…
even while I reject or push off the rich connection that He wants to offer to me …
Watching Meagan and Charley in these tense but loving moments…sort of felt like I was watching how God loves me…I think He even adores me. He is patient, He is kind…and just like Meagan had so much to give to Charley…God has so much better to offer me.
And the crazy thing is… its not just that Meagan cares for Charley and protects him…but she also personally wanted to be with him..spend time with him! Isn’t God so similar to this? As God patiently waits for me to choose the better thing (HIM) that He is offering FOR ME… He is also patiently waiting to spend time with me… to enjoy time together…it would also be His pleasure!
I watched Meagan pursue Charley in a very non-demanding, kind and patient way… and I know that God pursues me in a similar way, pretty much every day! I stare and long for something or someone else…just like Charley was taking interest in the female horse.
And meanwhile… God is looking at me… maybe even smiling at me… patiently waiting… yet lovingly pursuing something more life giving for me.
Why don’t we “get it” ALL THE TIME!?! Why do we keep chasing lesser things??
So, good news…eventually, Charley did engage in play with Meagan.
Grant helped as he kneeled down so Meagan could now ride her horse. She is so thankful for the bond that Grant and Charley also have. Grant didn’t have to engage in Meagan’s dream… but he chose to… he chooses to in so many ways!
And together, Charley and Meagan adventured!
THIS…
This is “home” for Meagan… this is safe, free and fun.
She felt wild and adventurous as the two of them ran together in the field.
And Charley?…
Ok, You ready for this?
So, earlier today, as I was going through this post for final edits…I asked God to help me to first “receive” (today)…to listen…to first take in something from Him before I attempt to offer it to others.
And I began to wonder what Charley was thinking/feeling…
So, I texted Meagan and asked her… AND THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID…
“Horses love leadership, they feel safe when somebody else is in charge…when somebody else is watching over them, protecting them, providing for them. When he chooses to engage with me, its because he sees me as the leader and he allows himself to submit to that leadership … in the realest sense of the word “submit”…not in the mis-used sense of the word. In real submission, there is FREEDOM. Now, Charley is really independent, so my guess would be that at first, for him, its like, “really, do I have to?”. But once he realizes that its easier to submit and he doesn’t have to make hard decisions, he doesn’t have to protect himself or always be on guard…then he feels peace. When choosing to engage and connect its always asking, “am i safe?”, “are you in charge”, “will you protect me and keep me safe, or will I?”.
I read her text several times. Does anyone else see the connection here? Could anyone else just about cry right now?!
I do love leadership, I LOVE to feel safe, protected and provided for… I love to engage and connect…
so why do I resist receiving these beautiful things in the most perfect way?
because of my lack of trust?..or maybe because of my independence? Quite possibly, because of fear. Resisting IS often the harder way though…isn’t it?!! Even while writing this, I feel kind of silly…I mean, how can I NOT trust the Creator of the universe?…
But to submit (to accept or yield to one .. to place yourself under), is a path to freedom and peace!
I think of the verse in Job (do you know about Job?…from the Bible… he experienced extremely awful stuff…yet, even in the midst of the hard… he was offered the freedom and peace that comes from submitting to and trusting God)..in Job 38:4, God says to Job; “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding, Who set its measurements?”
…I think God is reminding Job that rest, trust, peace are being offered to you here…but you need to trust Me. You need to know that I love you and care for you…you need to know that I see the big picture….I’ve got this! Things aren’t actually out of control…trust Me…I am good and I can give you peace and freedom…even though you don’t understand what is going on.
And, though Meagan is far from being God….she showed me a picture of God’s gentle and endless pursuit of me.
And Charley…. he showed me the beauty and freedom of trusting… submitting.
This is Meagan…and this is Charley… and this is a picture of a safe relationship.
A relationship similar to what God is offering to you and me.
He will pursue us… but He will also patiently wait for us.
He will be firm with us to help us toward something better.
He will smile and enjoy who we are as He has made us!
When we choose to receive His gifts…He will love BEING with us!
When we don’t feel safe… He can offer us peace, freedom and safety.
He says we are worth it!
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Bobbie went from full hustle to full halt and discovered what God can do in a valley season.
It ached to hear the harsh words that she knew could be her own, yet it felt so safe and reassuring to know that God sees her and wants her to have new lyrics in her own heart.
Acknowledging the dark as well as the light feels so honest and helpful in these moments. Although, I will warn, that it can also feel raw and not always easy, YET it is a kindness to ourselves when we start with honesty, isn't it? It is both, difficult and kind.
Letting go.. or saying "no" can be SO HARD ! We don't want to, we'd rather be awesome, all the time, in all the things! BUT... is that really working for you and your people? What do you need to steward (manage, maximize or multiply) better? Do you need to let go of something so that you may better steward something of more value… for a season?
Tracy leaned into the old car unafraid of the dirt and rust that she was now touching.
As I said in an email to my Belize Trip Prayer Team.. “ I am thankful. Actually, I am dumbfounded, humbled and in awe.”
C O N T A C T
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